I recently had to take a business trip to Australia, and therefore had the opportunity to watch a few films on the plane. Since many of them were edited for the plane, it didn’t seem fair to write full reviews for each of them (not to mention I don’t have the time!), so instead here’s a quick guide to all those I managed to catch on my 40+ hours of flying in the last 7 days:

True grit

Three male leads in a competition to see who can speak the most unintelligibly, while a fourteen year old girl tries to make a western around them.

The Fighter

Not as good as Million Dollar Baby, Raging Bull, Cinderella Man or Rocky 1, 2, 3, 4 or 6, but the usual all-in performance from Bale equally deserved every nomination it got, and to not win any of them.

The King’s Speech

A collection of career-best performances telling the story of how triumph over a speech impediment can be achieved with nothing but good, old-fashioned British derring-do and the resources of the richest, most powerful empire on the planet.

Monsters

£500k budget, £5 of socio-political insight and 50p of story.

Morning Glory

Terrible title, tired premise and much funnier than it has any right to be.

127 hours

It seemed like longer, as this tensionless one man show proves almost as excruciating to watch as it was to experience.

Gulliver’s Travels

Between them, Jack Black and a grab bag of British comedy talent who would all love to break into film conduct a furious and futile turd-polishing exercise.

The Tourist

Two Hollywood favourites go on holiday together, and are occasionally forced into making an unremarkable action thriller.

Yogi Bear

We now live in a world where the best thing about a Dan Aykroyd film is Justin Timberlake.

The Rite

All Rite if you just want to see Anthony Hopkins showcasing his acting skills, otherwise best left on the shelf.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The same timeless story of upper class English children murdering foreigners that they’ve already told twice, this time on a boat.

No Strings Attached

Goes from an obnoxious premise to an incredibly generic romcom so fast you won’t even notice how unfunny it is.

Love and Other Drugs

A surprisingly good weepy love story about a terminally-ill 26-year-old and a soulless douchebag pharmaceutical rep, plus for the men in the audience Anne Hathaway gets her boobs out.